Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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